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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized
as the California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6
million.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the
American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as
Iran, Afghanistan, Syria,and Lebanon.)
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take
at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases
to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight
loss.
Texas executes last remaining citizen.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version
of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is
completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by
January 2036.
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