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Bush's Urgent & Confidential Business Proposal
URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: 202.456.2461
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of
the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush,
and currently serving as President of the United States
of America. This letter might surprise you because we
have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I
came to know of you in my search for a reliable and
reputable person to handle a very confidential business
transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum
of money to an account requiring maximum confidence.
I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to
seek your assistance in acquiring oil funds that are
presently trapped in the republic of Iraq. My partners
and I solicit your assistance in completing a
transaction begun by my father, who has long been
actively engaged in the extraction of petroleum in the
United States of America, and bravely served his country
as director of the United States Central Intelligence
Agency.
In the decade of the nineteen-eighties, my father, then
vice-president of the United States of America, sought
to work with the good offices of the President of the
Republic of Iraq to regain lost oil revenue sources in
the neighboring Islamic republic of Iran. This
unsuccessful venture was soon followed by a falling-out
with his Iraqi partner, who sought to acquire additional
oil revenue sources in the neighboring emirate of
Kuwait, a wholly-owned U.S.-British subsidiary.
My father re-secured the petroleum assets of Kuwait in
1991 at a cost of sixty-one billion u.s. dollars
($61,000,000,000). Out of that cost, thirty-six billion
dollars ($36,000,000,000) were supplied by his partners
in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and other persian gulf
monarchies, and sixteen billion dollars
($16,000,000,000) by German and Japanese partners. But
my father's former Iraqi business partner remained in
control of the republic of Iraq and its petroleum
reserves.
My family is calling for your urgent assistance in
funding the removal of the President of the Republic of
Iraq and acquiring the petroleum assets of his country,
as compensation for the costs of removing him from
power. Unfortunately, our partners from 1991 are not
willing to shoulder the burden of this new venture,
which in its upcoming phase may cost the sum of 100
billion to 200 billion dollars ($100,000,000,000 -
$200,000,000,000), both in the initial acquisition and
in long-term management.
Without the funds from our 1991 partners, we would not
be able to acquire the oil revenue trapped within Iraq.
That is why my family and our colleagues are urgently
seeking your gracious assistance. Our distinguished
colleagues in this business transaction include the
sitting vice-president of the United States of America,
Richard Cheney, who is an original partner in the Iraq
venture and former head of the Halliburton oil company,
and Condoleeza Rice, whose professional dedication to
the venture was demonstrated in the naming of a Chevron
oil tanker after her.
I would beseech you to transfer a sum equaling ten to
twenty-five percent (10-25 %) of your yearly income to
our account to aid in this important venture. The
internal revenue service of the United States of America
will function as our trusted intermediary. I propose
that you make this transfer before the fifteenth (15th)
of the month of April.
I know that a transaction of this magnitude would make
anyone apprehensive and worried. But I am assuring you
that all will be well at the end of the day. A bold step
taken shall not be regretted, I assure you. Please do be
informed that this business transaction is 100% legal.
If you do not wish to co-operate in this transaction,
please contact our intermediary representatives to
further discuss the matter.
I pray that you understand our plight. My family and our
colleagues will be forever grateful. Please reply in
strict confidence to the contact numbers below.
Sincerely with warm regards,
George Walker Bush
Switchboard: 202.456.1414
Comments: 202.456.1111
Fax: 202.456.2461
Email: president@whitehouse.gov
Source: This parody of the ubiquitous Nigerian scam
letter was written by Zoltan Grossman
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