|
Election Tie-Breaker
On Election Night 2004, the returns showed Kerry 50%,
Bush 50%. To avoid another Supreme Court case, it was
decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest
between the two candidates to determine the final
winner. The candidate that caught the most fish at the
end of the week would win.
After a lot of back-and-forth discussion, it was decided
that the contest would take place on a remote and cold
lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers
present, and both men were to be sent out separately on
this remote lake and return daily with their catch for
counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the
starting line with 10 fish. Soon, W. returns and has
zero fish. Everyone assumes he is just having a bad day
or something and, hopefully, he will catch up the next
day.
At the end of the second day, Kerry comes in with 20
fish and W. comes in again with none.
That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with W.
and says, "I think Kerry is a lowlife, cheatin'
son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't
even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he
is cheating in any way."
The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish),
Cheney says to Bush, "Well, what about it, is Kerry
cheatin'?"
"He sure is, he's cutting holes in the ice."
|
