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You Might Be A Democrat If...
You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, "
and still display it.
You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about
this."
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another
career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its
preferred tree.
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can
afford a tax hike because..."
You keep count of how many people you know in each
racial or ethnic category.
You believe our government must do it because everyone
in Europe does.
You can't talk about foreign policy without using the
word conspiracy.
You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's
trip to Hanoi.
You think solar energy is being held back by those
greedy oil companies.
You've never been mugged.
You actually expect to collect Social Security.
You think the State of Florida should have tried to
reform Ted Bundy.
You think the Great Society has actually worked.
You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
You got teary-eyed during the film "The American
President."
You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your
commitment to recycling.
You think political patronage describes the Kennedy
family.
Your High School Year Book goals included the words
"help people."
You think the Free Market is where they hand out
Government cheese.
You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they
are just trying to defend the little guy.
You know that those profit mongering drug companies
could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
You know at least one Vegan.
You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was
driving.
You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real
heroes.
You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope
dealer's stash.
You think Michael Jackson is a great example of
diversity.
You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
You admire the Swedish welfare system.
You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to
Happiness."
You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call
you homophobic.
After looking at your pay stub you can still say,
"America is undertaxed."
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